Oh man.Are we here already?时间真的能这么快过去，这似乎是超现实的。有一次我在去医院的路上，转眼间，I'm running around with my toddler.He is my constant reminder of how fast this life really moves and how precious even frustrating moments can be.
I started this list back in2014,好像是一辈子以前的事了。生活节奏很快，也很慢。2014年，我们还住在加利福尼亚州，当时我是一所大学的全职健康主管，当时我正忙于为那年春天的婚礼做准备。
现在我们是一个非常可爱的小男孩的父母，住在圣约翰的一所很老的房子里。Louis and I've somehow managed to find full-time work through this space.If you would have told me back in 2014 that we would be here well,I don't know if I would have believed you.I mean,,搬到中西部!?Certainly I didn't see that for myself. 😏
我们称之为什么？这不是决议清单，这不是一个目标列表，但这两个都会出现。It's been my way to publicly look forward to the next year,yet also a place to reflect on what is working and what isn't.
I actually debated sharing this one this year,but since I usually get several responses back with your own lists,我决定我们应该一起再做一次。Here we go- 19 for 2019.
I am sorta-kinda a millennial.我在80年代初出生的那种奇怪的空间里，但实际上我们并不认同大多数我们认为是千禧一代的东西。
See also: I currently have a backpack filled with 3 different journals/planners.一个是想法，one is for my editorial calendar and one is pretty and has stickers and I like it.All of this makes for a very unorganized but organized person and this past year I've forgotten about a handful of meetings simply because I didn't record them correctly.
我一直在努力把日历改成电子日历，but considering that my office space can change from day to day,it's becoming harder to be grounded simply by my paper trackers.This may seem like a silly one,但对于其他的造纸师来说，you get how big this is.
2.Get a dedicated office space
我在家外工作，I work out of coffee shops (Hi Colleen's!) and I work out of a coworking space.所有这些都符合他们的目的，但这也意味着我一直在移动。
几周前，在我理想的位置，我得到了一个办公空间，我决定去那里。I'm always a bit hesitant on adding to my fixed business expenses,但这感觉是拥有属于我的空间的合适时机。
三。Spend one day a week with Vander
范德下周就要上学了，天哪，I'm already crying.We were fortunate enough to have a nanny help us for the past year and while that experience has been incredible and wonderful,I know it's time for Van to transition to a more social environment.
He's become such an active explorer over the past month or two and I'm excited to see him be introduced to other babes,更多结构和适龄课程。然而，because I am lucky enough to be able to dictate my own schedule,I've decided to keep the part time thing going.I'll be working Monday-Thursday and have my Fridays off to spend with Van.
4.Surrender to the Small Stuff.
What are the first few lines of the serenity prayer?给我力量去接受我无法改变的事情？?
5.Really exciting new projects!!
这里的一切都会变得很有趣！I can't share too much yet,but I just accepted a really amazing project this Spring that is exciting me to my bones.
Owning your own business is sometimes (经常）超级可怕。Especially for mostly risk-adverse individuals like myself.There are benefits and there are also really low and terrifying points.I'm riding the high right now and can't wait to share more details on this new venture.
6.Be more forgiving with myself
你注意到这里有一个主题吗？Being a mother has made me realize that I cannot 👏 do 👏it 👏 all and that is OK.
有些事情做不到，我越来越学会接受。我喜欢这句话：I can do it anything,but I cannot do it all.This might be my #1 focus for 2019.Do the things I can with intent and purpose and let go of things that don't serve me.
That also looks like forgiveness when my plate gets too full and I have to say no.Even to things Ireally想对说“是”。I was raised as a people-pleaser and saying no to things still feels scary and uncomfortable sometimes.
我是这方面正在进行的工作；这些年过去了，我变得更舒服了，但是，当你买的东西通过时，总会有一种强烈的内疚感，你不确定“否”是否是正确的答案。But then I think about #3 and #18 and I know that those things cannot happen if I'm stretched too thin.
Brene Brown (💖) says you can't give your children what you don't have and that phrase sticks with me so much.In order for me to teach Vander that it's OK to fail and that mistakes are part of growing and learning,我必须先和自己在一起。
7。Transition more work time to PBJs
你知道我今年开了一家新公司吗？?Plant-Based Juniorsmiiiiight be one of my most-favorite things I've ever done.
You might have heard the saying,创建你想读/听/看（填空）？Well,that's how I feel about PBJ's.我和我的朋友兼同事rd Whitney English创建了PBJ，因为我们想要它！我们想要一个以证据为基础的空间来饲养以植物为主的宝贝，却找不到。所以，我们创造了它。
就像我已经提到过几次，I can't show up to everything 100% all of the time.这意味着减少一些事情的规模，更多地出现在我真正感兴趣的事情上，like Plant-Based Juniors.
如果你参加我们的mailing list!We are rolling out a new product this spring and it's going to be awesome.如果你是一个准妈妈，或者是一个小宝贝的妈妈（或者认识一个准妈妈！）) then make sure to follow along in our community.
8。Be an advocate
I was in an exercise class a few weeks ago with an instructor who would不让感恩节的罪恶感消失吧。Every few minutes,她提醒我们前一周可能会大吃大喝的事情，以及我们需要如何把土豆泥吐出来，肉汁，派……你明白了。
我意识到她可能认为她在激励我，但我完全听不见她的声音，很讨厌她。We shouldn't exercise because we feel shame,we should exercise because it makes us feel good.And,this message is further perpetuated with fitness instructors who just don't get it.
Anyways,I left the class annoyed but didn't speak up to the instructor and let her know my thoughts.Who cares?I thought,I'll just avoid her class next time.
但那时候！我在跟一个同事讲这个故事，她的回答把我打昏了。You should have said something,她说。你知道如果你的客户在那门课上，他们会感到多么痛苦。and你也有足够的力量来谈论这些事情，而不会变得过于情绪化或私人化，没有羞辱或尴尬老师。
Yes!Duh.我总是谈论抚养儿子的责任，以及我想怎样教他成为别人的拥护者，但我自己并不总是这么做。It's a small example,但这让我意识到有时我可以用我的声音，但我没有。努力变得更好。
9.Get dressed every day
This sounds so ridiculous,but hear me out.If I don't have any in-person clients or meetings,my day might go something like this: cuddle in bed with Vander until I make my way to an exercise class,head to the office,come home to play with Van,make dinner,bedtime routine,so exhausted that I crash on the couch before crawling into bed.然后重复。
穿上真正的衣服，而不是整天穿着运动服，让我更有效率；almost like a reset button.它也阻止我连续2-3天穿着紧身裤。Which happens very,,very经常。
家里的同事们都知道我在说什么，其他人都很讨厌。I get it.
I was lucky enough to meet my soul mate women/BFF's Freshman year of college and 4 kids and 15+ years later,we are still amazing friends.Even if we live in completely different parts of the country and (hopefully!）每年见面一次。
We managed to head to Miami this December to reunite and it was so,so fun.这也是一个很好的提醒，我花了很多旅行的精力和金钱在家人身上，而不是花很多时间去见朋友。所以！我已经计划今年夏天和我们和我们的宝贝们一起去东海岸旅行。These kind of trips feed my soul.
今年秋天，我们决定搬到一个更大的家里，并且相当肯定从那时起，我们已经看到至少25个家庭在这个过程中。然而，we don't just want a bigger home- we want a fixer upper!!
我们住在圣路易斯的老城区。Louis and love the charm that these hundred+ year old home contain.然而，they also have weird and funky layouts and were not meant for 2019 comforts.所以，我们的梦想是买一个新的，我们可以扩展到。
We did this on a much smaller scale in our current home and have both really enjoyed the creative process of tearing down and rebuilding.
今年，我第一次在全国会议上发言，扰流板警报，,I love it!!专业和个人，I really enjoy presenting and aim to continue to push myself to do more each year.
今年，I'm lined up to speak at a few state conferences and am crossing my fingers that my proposals get picked up for the Fall conference circuit.
嗯，不。This isn't a pregnancy announcement.But,因为我很快就进入了老年怀孕期，it's something that's been on my mind.
We've been going back and forth on what our family looks like,尽管我知道这会涉及到另一个孩子。I'm not certain if that will be a biological child or a world child,但我想再次体验做母亲的经历，我真的想给范一个兄弟姐妹的礼物。
13.Take a solo trip with BL!!
But,我们的家庭刚开始的时候只有我和我，我知道我能为范德做的最好的事情就是有一个强壮和健康的婚姻。实际上，这就是BL说服我去巴塔哥尼亚的原因。After initially agreeing to go,我试着用一百种不同的方式离开旅行，害怕离开货车太久。
但他是对的。Having time to ourselves without our babe is a good thing.我们计划今年夏天进行一次周年纪念之旅，我期待着能有一段时间来关注我们。
14.Reduce my Amazon Prime usage
I hate everything that expedited shipping stands for and yet,I click the"free shipping"box more often than not.I don't need that book in 48 hours and yes,我的物品可以一起等待和装运。
To help,I've been keeping a list on my phone of things we"需要and then placing an order once that list becomes large enough.它阻止了我每隔几天就订购一次东西，让我更负责任。这让我想到15：
15。Be more financially organized
Ironically,作为一个非常小的企业，这是我面临的最大挑战之一。Keeping track of money in and out… yikes!I unofficially hired BL as my CFO this summer,主要是为了让我/我们负责跟踪付款和纳税。
Let me tell you what research has freaked me out: the connection betweenscreen time and anxiety/depression,especially in kids.
啊。我知道无论你住在什么时候做父母都很困难，but it feels harder with all of the tech changes that are happening faster than we can understand the consequences.因为我的业务是在线的，I'm on my phone more often that I would like.
然而，my goal has been to try and be off my phone/computer as much as possible when I'm home.It's also the reason why I am getting a dedicated office space and working hard on #18.BL和我在家里走时都试着把电话收起来，尽量不理他们，at least while Van is around.It's not always easy and it's not always done,but it's a try.
18.Throw the word balance out the window
If there's a conversation BL and I have over and over again,it's the idea of balance.We're both in our mid-thirties,a time which is usually marked by career growth and also family time.
We know we can't be 100% at both.I've decided that's a super unrealistic,unfair bar to hold myself to.我女朋友和我分享了这句话，and I think it's perfect:"We expect women to work like they don't have children and raise children as if they don't work.""
I can't be measured by these impossible standards and I feel like the"工作/生活平衡”我们所谈论的并不真正存在。事实是：我总是觉得自己的工作做得不够，而且我也渴望和我的孩子多待一段时间。他只年轻一次。
我接受我不能成为一切。My hope is that I'm present when I'm at work and I'm present when I'm at home.That feels like the closest I get to doing/having it all,even when I don't.
We've made some really awesome friends this year.在圣路易斯生活了3年以上。路易斯，这终于开始感觉像家了。I'm really looking forward to continuing to deepen my St.路易斯根。
祝你一切顺利，joyous and happy 2019.XO公司